I read The Opposite of Loneliness when it was written in 2012. The article went viral following the death of its 22-year-old author, Marina Keegan. It moved me deeply at the time, and it has moved me every time I’ve read it since.
In the article, Keegan seems under the impression that her feelings are tied to her college graduation, but, at least for me, the fear and opportunity Keegan describes is so much bigger – it’s the highs and lows of simply living.
Granted, Keegan couldn’t have known that at 22 (nor would I) and there is also the possibility that even at 37, I’m alone in facing these sentiments… but I doubt that…and I doubt I’m the only who finds them to be crippling. What if it’s too late to start over? What if I will never have the same amount of fun I’ve had so far? What if the best has already happened?
While I generally can combat these thoughts as I believe, like Keegan, that I can start over, that I can make my own fun, and that the best is yet to come, the questions that take up residence in my soul are the other kind of “what ifs”…What if I’d majored in something else? What if I’d married him? What if I’ve made a terrible misstep along the way?
There is no clear counterargument for these thoughts.
We are all living with the choices we’ve made thus far, and this trip has been a nice reminder that we really are all in this together. We can find comfort and community outside the walls of a university, our hometowns, our work/church/city/-specific friend groups….
While I do have friends in some of places I’m stopping, I have also intentionally chosen places where I’ve never been and where I know no one. That is both exciting and terrifying to me, and I admit it’s required some pep-talks from myself, to myself, from time-to-time.
My last stop, in Broussard, Louisiana, was one of those stops…and it served as an ideal example of how despite several treacherous years where we’ve been divided politically, emotionally, religiously, and, in my opinion, logically, the loneliness doesn’t have to be all we see. On this stop alone, I had a girl offer to sit with me on her break to teach me how to eat crawfish after I mentioned I was intimidated to order them off the menu; I had a family welcome me as an “honorary family member” when I showed up alone to take an airboat tour of the swamp; and I had an interesting and long conversation with a woman about how to properly make quilts.
While I do think Louisiana is a special place, I don’t think the people of Louisiana are necessarily outliers when it comes to the human condition. I think when given the opportunity, people can see their community as much bigger than we generally assume…and I think that right now, I have a rare opportunity to live out the opposite of loneliness that Keegan described…that’s what I feel out here on this adventure…and I think it’s healing my tired soul.
Road Trip Updates
Y’all. Is there a place where you can apply to be an honorary Louisianian? This state spoke to me! We can start with the fact that I ate so many amazing things! I had crawfish etouffee, red beans and rice, corn maque choux, crawfish empanadas, boudin balls, beignets, creole stuffed bread, and something called a cajundilla. I kid you not, I had to do some wiggling to get these jeans on today.
In addition to the food, the Louisiana accent is something special. I know I have an accent (and I feel like it’s getting twangier with every day I’m out of the northeast), but this accent is something I’ve never experienced. While sitting in my backyard, I overhead my neighbors and I promise you I could only understand half of what they were saying. I had a similar experience in the grocery store while they were explaining to me how to fry boudin balls, and while waiting in line for the swamp tour. Since I’m a proper southern lady, I smiled along and nodded, but seriously, I only got half of that.
Perhaps my greatest language challenge came while listening to a song on the FM radio. I thought I was LOSING MY MIND because I couldn’t understand any of it. Like, NOTHING…but then it hit me that I didn’t understand it because the whole dadgum song was in French. Louisiana-1, Holly-0.
Okay, but despite my love for the state, I do just need to say that my best wishes and warmest regards do not extend to LSU. Nope. No, thank you. Boomer!
Current mileage: 2858 miles
States Stayed in So Far: Florida, Louisiana, Texas
Foodie Shoutouts: The crawfish etouffee at LT’s Seafood and Steakhouse, the Hero at Jet Coffee, and the boudin bread at the Cajun Market Donut Company
Cool Things: McGee’s Swamp Tours and Vermilionville Historic Village
Love,
Holly
P.S. Here’s a little video recap of my time in Louisiana!
Texas!!! Call me. Come see me in Gunter. It’s been way too long since I’ve see you.