Taking My Own Advice

A few weeks ago, my high school cheerleading coach reached out to me and asked if I would be willing to speak to her seniors on career day. This presented me with an instant dilemma. While I feel absolutely unqualified to provide any kind of life guidance, I will also do anything Mrs. Carr asks me to do. This is both a testament to the impact she’s had on my life and my general belief that people who could handle the emotional turbulence of “high-school Holly”, now deserve any favor they may request.

So, after some back-and-forth messages, I joined Mrs. Carr on Zoom. As luck would have it, I didn’t actually have to speak to the seniors…I was merely going to speak with Mrs. Carr and then the video would be played the next day.

After catching up with Mrs. Carr for a bit (who is still one the kindest people I know), she turned on the recording and said “go”.

I began incessantly rambling about OU, and leaving Atoka, and living in China, and joining Gamma Phi Beta, and working in D.C., and teaching at UMD, and going to grad school, and working at Disney, and basically recapping my life in anything but chronological order.

When I ceased my monologue, Mrs. Carr pointed out that I had actually gone to Lane Elementary, which, for everyone who may not realize, is an indicator that high school was actually a pretty daunting endeavor for me. While the entire town of Atoka can be considered rural, Lane was even more rural. I went to kindergarten through eighth grade with essentially the same 20 kids. It was just me and my 19 besties doing life from ages 5 to 14 and then…high school.

To be clear, I graduated high school with 64 people, so we’re still talking tiny…but it was also a huge adjustment to suddenly be meeting all these other kids who were also coming from rural schools and rolling up into the “giant” Atoka High School.

While I ultimately did well with the transition, I know that some of my peers did not…and I knew what Mrs. Carr was getting at with her question.

I confirmed that I was a Lane Eagle and also answered several questions about what an average day in my job looks like and whether I had a security clearance and whether anyone from Atoka could grow up and do what I do…

…and throughout all of it, Mrs. Carr was so kind. She kept saying things like “wow”, “that’s so impressive”, and “you’ve done so much”, and I started to panic. I started to panic because y’all, this was coming off all wrong. This is not a rags to riches story about a Lane Eagle doing fancy things. I’m a hot mess and if it’s coming off as anything other than that, I must be explaining it incorrectly!

As I tried to figure out how to course correct, Mrs. Carr asked what advice I might give to a graduating senior. I defaulted to the bit of advice I always give which is that if it scares you a little, it’s probably worth trying. I believe this wholeheartedly and acknowledge that most of the things that I have ultimately considered a huge life accomplishment, started out by scaring me senseless.

And then, to attempt that course correct, I followed-up with a second bit of advice: it’s all felt like flailing. I tried to explain that even though it looks like it all came together, it hasn’t felt like that’s what’s going on at all. It’s felt like falling this way and that way and bouncing off of something over here and then trying something different over there and then…somehow, you’re 37 and you’re being asked to give career advice.

When I hung up with Mrs. Carr, I immediately began replaying everything I’d said and I felt like I had really missed the mark. I felt like I hadn’t done a great job of explaining the flailing thing and I really wanted these seniors to understand that. I wanted them to know that 99% of what my life is now is actually not how I thought it would turn out. I didn’t see most of this coming.…it has just been making one choice at a time because at the end of the day, there is no guide book for life. And that’s okay.

And then I laughed out loud.

I laughed at the voice in my head saying “wwwwooooooowwwwww, you seem really good at giving that advice and not so great at taking it.”

I mean, sheesh, that was on the nose. How much time do I stress about my five-year-plan…my ten-year-plan…my friggin retirement plan? There’s so much time spent trying to figure out what comes next…time spent trying to figure out whether I should get another degree, whether I should take those eggs off ice and find a sperm donor, whether I should wait for a suitable partner, whether I should leave D.C., whether I should buy property there, whether I should invest in cryptocurrencies, whether I should move to a hut on a deserted island and throw my phone into the ocean…

See? There are lots of planning attempts happening in my head at any given minute…but at the same time, I meant what I said to those seniors. It’s all felt like flailing so far, and I imagine it will continue to do so. And that’s okay. Taking it one decision at a time has landed me in a pretty sweet spot with a really great life…

…so for right now, I’ll take a deep breath and take some of my own advice.

Road Trip Updates

I’m in love with Milwaukee. It’s that simple. While Wisconsin has always been a nice state in my opinion (I mean, it’s the state that brought me Manda), I didn’t feel particularly connected to it.

And then Manda and I went to Milwaukee.

People! There is a giant body of water (Lake Michigan) which means you get sand and sails and fresh fish and there’s a river which means you get cool river walks and urban living. There’s (obviously) some amazing cheese, yummy custard, a historic ward, cool artsy places/things and a super swanky/snobby-seeming residential area where I naturally want to live (#mypeople)!

Truly, it was a whirlwind long weekend, but it was an amazing one.

I loved having Manda as a tour guide to teach me all the Wisconsin things (like why sausages run around at the baseball game) and to explain to me the art of finding Culver’s daily custard specials. I even appreciated that I was called out multiple times for not being from there…twice because of my accent, and once because I was wearing my winter coat in 55-degree weather. *shoulder shrug* I felt fine, folks.

Current mileage: 5835 miles

States Stayed in So Far: Florida, Louisiana, Texas, Oklahoma, Missouri, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Indiana

Foodie Shoutouts: The honey lavender latte at Colectivo Coffee, the Badger State dog at American Family Field, the bacon cheddar chive danish at Rocket Baby Bakery and custard at…everywhere? I ate a lot of that, friends.

Cool Things: A Brewer’s game at American Family Field, the North Point Light House, and the Historic Third Ward

Love,
Holly

P.S. Here’s a little video recap of my time in Wisconsin!

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